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Old 08-09-2007, 08:25 PM   #1
Hard Justice Dan
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Cats

OK, I'm a cat person. I'll admit that. I actually like them because they are such cunts. Cats are the most self centred creatures on the planet and I just love their arrogance.

But it can be a love/hate relationship, especially when I'm angry ie. already venting about something else on VYA.

Our family cat is a massive cunt. It's snobby, but craves attention. It shows a complete and utter disdain for it's human owners and just doesn't know it's place. YOU'RE A FUCKING CAT AND THIS IS NOT EGYPT SO GET BACK IN YOUR BOX!

It's one of those fluffy white cats that you see in cat food commercials where the cat is supposed to be some higher class of cat that will only eat food that comes out of fancy looking black and silver tins with ridiculous flavours like caviar and lobster.

Our cat has this habit of fucking up whatever shit you're doing at the time just for attention (keep in mind, this thing hates people). ARGH!!! IT JUST KNOCKED A WHOLE BUNCH OF PAPER OFF THE DESK RIGHT FUCKING THEN! It was just cleaning itself and decided, "Nah, this shit is in my way. I am going to push it off the desk."

Anyway, I'll be typing on the computer and it'll jump up on the desk, which is fair enough. It's a big desk. But THEN it decides that it wants to move to the other side of the desk. It waddles it's fat arse across the front of my screen and arches it's back just to block out the monitor 100%. In the same action he walks over the keyboard, so while I'm ranting about the volume of the television I randomly get this "adhbfsjp;7545-+" on my screen.

It also has a habit of resting it's head on the mouse (probably because it's ergonomic) while my hand is on it, so when I move my hand away and tell it to fuck off it looks at me with this same look my bratty teenage sister gives to my parents when she's grounded.

Well fuck you cat. You are nothing but a dim sim waiting to be made and I am from a far superior species so stop pushing shit off the table and stepping on the keyboard.


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Old 08-09-2007, 08:31 PM   #2
wally funk
Those fucking cunts!
 
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Originally Posted by Hard Justice Dan View Post
cats... they are such cunts. Cats are the most self centred creatures on the planet...

Our family cat is a massive cunt. It's snobby... It shows a complete and utter disdain for it's human owners and just doesn't know it's place. YOU'RE A FUCKING CAT AND THIS IS NOT EGYPT SO GET BACK IN YOUR BOX!

Well fuck you cat. You are nothing but a dim sim waiting to be made and I am from a far superior species.
edited for readers with short attention spans
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Old 08-09-2007, 08:46 PM   #3
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Old 08-09-2007, 10:40 PM   #4
Rudi
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lolcats are the worst internet phenomenon ever, stop posting them
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Old 08-09-2007, 11:01 PM   #5
Jimmy
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Two hundred channels, nothing but cats.
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Old 08-10-2007, 12:29 AM   #6
wally funk
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lolcats are the worst internet phenomenon ever, stop posting them
even worse than the chuck norris internet phenomenon. and that one's tough to beat.
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:15 AM   #7
Hard Justice Dan
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even worse than the chuck norris internet phenomenon. and that one's tough to beat.
You know what else it tough to beat?



Chuck Norris.
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:25 AM   #8
Jimmy
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I'm still riding on the high of All Your Base.
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:47 AM   #9
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I heard Chuck Norris uses fire as toilet paper.
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Old 08-10-2007, 09:49 AM   #10
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I'm still riding on the high of All Your Base.
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