blahh.... what a shitty day. ya know those days that are just mind nimbingly shitty for no particular reason?...yeah, it's one of them!
i suppose it's the life style. A used to love the whole 'ultra cool' thing i had goin' on, but now everything is just pissing me off! ohh, by the way, this vent aint about anything in particular, i'm just gunna be goin' on about how much life bites the big one, so i suggest to stop reading this thread and start with something more interesting. anywho, man oh man! i just don't think anyone gets it. i don't think anyone really gets me! I mean, i'm very different from people in my small home town. I dress differetnly, i like different movies, different music, and i laugh at different jokes. Normally i'm cool with that, and i can still hold up a convo with a complete moron if i have to, but lately i can't seem to hold my own around any of these losers. God i wish i wasn't so pesemistic... haha nah i don't
A whole group of my friends graduated highschool last year, being in that group was the only time i really felt a part of anything. now that they're gone it's really lonely. just me and my main girl. And you have no idea the looks that we get. See, sometimes i miss the old crew and sometimes i think i'll survve without them. LAtely it all seems unbearable! I used to get through the days with the simple hope that i'd turn 18, get the hell out of here and up to California (or anywhere!) but now not even that seems to compfort me. To tell you the truth i'm kinda numb. All i really feel is this indiscribable feeling that is kind of like an angsty anger, but yet very mellow and relaxing. And tha alone pisses me off! what if i get to L.A and it's the same as here.. as in no one gets me and i can't find a decent fuck for the life of me!! ohh man, that would suck!! i don't even know what i'm so upset about, it's become kind of hazy. infact, my whole life does. theres no point to any of it. y'know that line from paranoid by the legendary black sabbath "people think i'm insane because i am drowning all the time..." well that's what i feel like, that and creep by radiohead. But hey, in the morning i'll have my coffee and cigerette, and probably forget all about this. Welcome to puberty...